Jimply Sardars....2 much

Santa used to work in a saw-mill. He was in hospital after he lost his arm in an accident. Banta was visiting him in the hospital.

Banta: "It was really bad that you lost your hand. However thank Wahe Guru that it was your left hand, since you are right handed."

Santa: "It is also because of my quick thinking. Actually it was the right hand which was going to be caught in the machine. Then I realised that I am right handed and so switched hands just in time!

Banta again

Banta was bragging to his boss one day,"You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Banta how about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Banta and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Banta! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!" Although impressed, Banta's boss is still skeptical.

After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Banta that he thinks Banta's knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Banta says. "President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts. "Yes," Banta says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." At the White House, Clinton spots Banta on the tour and motions him and his boss over,saying, "Banta, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and have a cup of coffee first.

"Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House, he expresses his doubts to Banta, who again implores him to name anyone else. " The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Banta. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the pope a long time." So they fly to Rome. Banta and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Banta says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people.

Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Banta emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

But by the time Banta returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss' side, Banta asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says," I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said,"Who's that on the balcony with Banta?"

Give him another chance

80,000 Sardarji's meet at the Jalianwala Bagh for a "Sardarjis Are Not Stupid Convention." Santha Singh, the emcee says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that Sardarjis are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?" One Sardarji steps up. Santha Singh asks him, "What is 15 plus 15?"

After 15 or 20 seconds, he says, "Eighteen." Obviously, everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 sardarjis start cheering, "Give him another chance, give him another chance."

Santha Singh says, "Well, since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you here and the world wide press, I guess we can give him another chance."

So he says, "What is 5 plus 5?"

After nearly 30 seconds, the sardarji eventually says, "Ninety?"

Santha Singh sighs - everyone is crestfallen and the sardarji starts crying. 80,000 sardarji start yelling, "Give him another chance, give him another chance."

SanthaSingh, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! One more chance. What is 2 plus 2?"

The sardarji closes his eyes and after a whole minute eventually says "Four."

Around the stadium 80,000 sardarjis start yelling "Give him another chance, give him another chance."

Berth or Birth?

Santa Singh, his wife and his son were returning to Punjab by train. Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train compartment. The train stopped at one of the stations on the way back and the son asked Santa Singh to bring him a Cadbury's chocolate. When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth. Upset and angry, Santa Singh called the Ticket checker asked him to help. The Ticket checker said that he could not understand Hindi or Punjabi so it would be nice if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English.Santa Singh explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."

What's it about Gavaskar?

When Santa finds out that there has been released, a movie,in Australia called 'Gavaskar', he is very happy. He plans to watch it and gets a ticket for Australia at once. With great difficulty he manages to get a ticket and very happily he goes to see the movie. But when he comes out of the cinema he is very angry! He goes straight to the director of the movie and says, "What do you mean by this? You named your movie 'Gavaskar', but didn't show anything about him in it!". The director of the movie laughs and says, "So now you understand the problem? You people too made a movie called 'Border', but did you show anything about Allan Border in it?"

Can't see my luggage already

Sardarji is on a tour in Delhi. He is pushing the Qutab Minar real hard.

A policeman asks him "What are you up to?"
"I've just bought it and now I am taking it to my Homeland."
"And for how long have you been busy with this?"
"I don't know, I can't see my luggage already."