3 Corporate lessons!

Lesson number one

A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story :
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high.

Lesson number two

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson number three

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.

The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral of the story:
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.

Sit very high

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw thecrow, and asked him:
Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long? The crow answered: Sure, why not.

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate him.

Then the crow thought: Poor rabbit, I forgot to tell him that if you want to do nothing, you must sit very high...

Humor: Little (un)known facts

1. If you fart without cease for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
2. If the population of China walked past you in single file the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
3. The names of all the continents start with the same letter that they end with.
4. Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

Brighten Someone's day

Should you find it hard to get to sleep tonight;

Just remember the homeless family who has no bed to lie in.

Should you find yourself stuck in traffic; don't despair.

There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work;

Think of the man who has been out of work for the last three months.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad;

Think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend;

Think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week, for \\$15.00 to feed her family.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance;

Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror;

Think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering; what is life all about, what is my purpose?

Be thankful, there are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities;

Remember, things could be worse. You could be them!!!

Should you decide to send this to a friend;

You might brighten someone's day!

The World's Easiest Quiz

1. How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2. Which country makes Panama hats?
3. From which animal do we get catgut?
4. In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5. What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6. The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7. What was King George VI's first name?
8. What color is a purple finch?
9. What country do Chinese gooseberries come from?
10. How long did the Thirty Years War last?

Don't be surprised to get all wrong!!! scroll down for the answers!!!!

ANSWERS:

1. 116 years, from 1337 to 1453.
2. Equador.
3. From sheep and horses.
4. November. The Russian calendar was 13 days behind ours.
5. Squirrel fur.
6. The Latin name was Insularia Canaria - Island of the Dogs.
7. Albert. When he came to the throne in 1936 he respected the wish of Queen Victoria that no future king should ever be called Albert.
8. Distinctively crimson.
9. New Zealand.
10. Thirty years, of course!!!! From 1618 to 1648.

ha!ha!ha! Stumped?!!

Thats the way things are!

Is this incidence or coincidence? Check whether it is Incidence or Coincidence? The incidence of coincidence is so prevalent, that it cannot be considered coincidence.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Both their wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.

Both were shot in the head. Both were shot in the presence of their wives.

The Secretary of each President warned them not to go to the theater and to Dallas, respectively.

Lincoln's Secretary was named Kennedy. Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.

Southerners succeeded both.

Both successors were named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839. Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names. Both names have 15 letters.

Both ran from the theater and was captured in a warehouse.
Oswald ran from the warehouse and was captured in a theater.
To cap it all off, Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trial.

And last but not the least: A week before Lincoln was shot he was in Monroe, Maryland. A week before Kennedy was shot he was with . . Marilyn Monroe.

Is this INCIDENCE or COINCIDENCE?

Lateral thinking Lateral Thinking....Just goes to show how simple solutions are often overlooked in life. This is the best example on this topic.

This, as incredible as it may sound, is a true story. In the early days of the American space program, NASA received reports from the astronauts that their pens would not write in space. Ball points, fountain pens, even quills, nothing worked! So NASA contacted the people who had supplied the pens and made money available for the production of a pen which would write in space, Eventually, thousands of dollars later, a suitable pen was produced, incorporating a small gas filled cylinder which propelled the ink out of the pen. It worked both in space and underwater. The problem was solved, albeit at great expense.

Many years later, when co-operation with the Russians was established, it occurred to someone at NASA to ask how the Russians had solved the same problem.

There was no problem, they said, we used a pencil.

Lateral thinking questions

1. There is a man that lives on the top floor of a very tall building. Everyday he gets the elevator down to the ground floor to leave the building to go to work. Upon returning from work though, he can only travel half way up in the lift and has to walk the rest of the way unless it's raining! WHY?

   This is probably the best known and most celebrated of all lateral thinking puzzles. It is a true classic. Although there are many possible solutions which fit the initial conditions, only the canonical answer is truly satisfying.

2. A man and his son are in a car accident. The father dies on the scene, but the child is rushed to the hospital. When he arrives the surgeon says "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son!" How can this be?
3. A man is wearing black. Black shoes, socks, trousers, jumper, gloves and balaclava. He is walking down a black street with all the street lamps off. A black car is coming towards him with its light off too but some how manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?
4. Title : The Elder Twin
   One day Kerry celebrated her birthday. Two days later her older twin brother, Terry, liberated his birthday. Why?
5. Title : Manhole Covers Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones? This is logical rather than lateral, but it is a good puzzle which can be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used by a very well-known software company as an interview question for prospective employees...
6. Title : The Deadly Party
   A man went to a party and drank some of the punch. He then left early...Everyone else at the party who drank the punch subsequently died Of poisoning. Why did the man not die?
7. Title : Trouble with Sons
   A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day of the same year. But they were not twins. How could this be so?
8. Title : The Man in the Bar
   A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The man says : 'Thankyou' and walks out. Why?
   This puzzle has claims to be the best of the genre. It is simple in its statement, absolutely baffling and yet with a completely satisfying solution. Most people struggle very hard to solve this one yet they like the answer when they hear it or have the satisfaction of figuring it out..

1. The man is very short and so can only reach half way up the lift buttons! However, if it is raining then he will have his umbrella with him and so can press the higher buttons with it...
2. The surgeon is the boy's mother..
3. It was day time..
4. At the time she went into labor, the mother of the twins was travelling by boat. The older twin, Terry, was born first early on March 1st. The boat then crossed a time zone and Kerry, the younger twin, was born on February the 28th. Therefore, the younger twin celebrates her birthday two days before her older brother..
5. A square manhole cover can be turned and dropped down the diagonal of the manhole. A round manhole cannot be dropped down the manhole.. So for safety and practicality, all manhole covers should be round..
6. The poison in the punch came from the ice cubes. When the man drank the punch, the ice was fully frozen. Gradually it melted, poisoning the punch..
.
7. They were two of a set of triplets (or quadruplets etc.) This puzzle stumps many people. They try outlandish solutions involving test-tube babies or surrogate mothers. Why does the brain search for complex solutions when there is a much simpler one available?
8. The man had hiccups. The barman recognized this from his speech and drew the gun in order to give him a shock. It worked and cured the hiccups.

Brain check

As quickly as you can but don't advance until you've done each of them really. Now, arrow down (but not
too fast, you might miss something).

1. Think of a number from 1 to 10

2. Multiply that number by 9

3. If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together

4. Now subtract 5

5. Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you ended up with (example: 1=a, 2=b, 3=c, etc.)

6. Think of a country that starts with that letter

7. Remember the last letter in the name of that country

8. Think of the name of an animal that starts with that letter

Are you thinking of Kangaroos in Denmark?

If not, you're among the 2% of the population whose minds are different enough to think of something else.

98% of people will answer with kangaroos in Denmark when given this exercise. Freaky, huh? Keep this message going. Forward it to people you know and see if they can see if they are usual or unusual.

Amazing IE trick

This is a really amazing thing. Just copy the line below in a note pad and save it as somename.html, then open it with internet explorer (Upto version 4.0 only) only and see the fun.

<!-- introducing the Trident team -->>

Is this the trick played by IE developement team????????????
But don't try with Netscape Navigator.

Mount Kailash

This picture is a rare sight of the formation of OM (Form of Lord Shiva) in the snow clad Kailash mountain in the Himalayas. The Kailash-Mansarovar yatra Journey) is just meant for catching a glimpse of this and not all are lucky enough to see it. The yatra is held at a time when most of the snow has melted but the snow on this part of the mountain does not melt. This is where(and why) we say that Lord Shankarhas his permanent place.

Possible HR written test!

Don't peek but begin the test as you scroll down and answer. Answers are for who you are now... not who you were in the past. Have a pen or pencil and paper ready.

This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get a better insight concerning their employees and potential employees. It's only 10 simple questions, so...

1. When do you feel your best?
(a) in the morning
(b) during the afternoon & early evening
(c) late at night

2. You usually walk
(a) fairly fast, with long steps
(b) fairly fast, with short, quick steps
(c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
(d) less fast, head down
(e) very slowly

3. When talking to people you
(a) stand with your arms folded
(b) have your hands clasped
(c) have one or both your hands on your hips
(d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
(e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with
(a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
(b) your legs crossed
(c) your legs stretched out or straight
(d) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with
(a) a big, appreciative laugh
(b) a laugh, but not a loud one
(c) a quiet chuckle
(d) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you..
(a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
(b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
(c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted. Do you..
(a) welcome the break
(b) feel extremely irritated
(c) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
(a) red or orange
(b) black
(c) yellow or light blue
(d) green
(e) dark blue or purple
(f) white
(g) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep, you lie

(a) stretched out on your back
(b) stretched out face down on your stomach
(c) on your side, slightly curled
(d) with your head on one arm
(e) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are

(a) falling
(b) fighting or struggling
(c) searching for something or somebody
(d) flying or floating
(e) you usually have dreamless sleep
(f) your dreams are always pleasant
---------

POINTS:

1. (a) 2
(b) 4
(c) 6
2. (a) 6
(b) 4
(c) 7
(d) 2
(e) 1
3. (a) 4
(b) 2
(c) 5
(d) 7
(e) 6
4. (a) 4
(b) 6
(c) 2
(d) 1
5. (a) 6
(b) 4
(c) 3
(d) 5
6. (a) 6
(b) 4
(c) 2
7. (a) 6
(b) 2
(c) 4
8. (a) 6
(b) 7
(c) 5
(d) 4
(e) 3
(f) 2
(g) 1
9. (a) 7
(b) 6
(c) 4
(d) 2
(e) 1

10.(a) 4
(b) 2
(c) 3
(d) 5
(e) 6
(f) 1

Now add up your total number of points.

OVER 60 POINTS:

Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS:
Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS:
Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS:
Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest... Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your
trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS:

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful a slow and
steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it.
They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS:(you're hopeless)
People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants
someone else to make the decisions and who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything. They
see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only
those who know you well know that you aren't.

Nature's beauty!

• rising sun on beach
• rising sea water
• wonderful waterfall
• Grand Canyon
• Just clouds!

Millenium special events!

• Last solar eclipse of the millenium
• Cloud ball effect
• Autumn colors in Japan
• Floating hotel
• Simply amazing!